Thursday, January 24, 2008

Sorry for the Delay

but there has been very little going on lately. Which I guess is a good thing. We are all healthy - YEAH! I have started exercising at home - step aerobics, pilates, yoga. I'm having a good time I just have to keep myself motivated.

Tanner brought home his report card yesterday. *Sigh* He has all high marks EXCEPT in personal behavior! What's up with that? Things like being respectful of others feelings and property, following classroom rules, working well with others, etc. What happened to my wonderful son? He used to be so shy around other adults that he would never do anything wrong. Is he just getting more comfortable in school and now he's doing whatever he wants? Am I not hard enough on his personal behavior at home? Is he allowing himself to be influenced by other not-so-well-behaved boys? What do I do? Aaaaahhh! I'll be calling the school today and setting up a conference with his teacher, at her request. I'm scared. What is she going to tell me about my son? I feel like I want to cry. How do I positively influence Tanner be more respectful of others, to follow the rules, to be the good kid and not the one that always gets in trouble? HELP! I hope it's not as bad as my brain has made it out to be.

5 comments:

Jeanne Lobsinger said...

One word: Home Skool. It working gud for us.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Staci!
Don't be discouraged, girlfriend! Our Ricardo had a challenging time adjusting to being in kindergarten. About the 2nd week of school we were driving around town, and Ricardo was telling me how the teacher would move kids to a new seat if they didn't behave. I asked, "Have you ever been moved to a new seat?" Ricardo replied, "yeah, but not anymore. now I have a special seat right next to Mrs. Graden!" I almost crashed the van when he said that. I called her as soon as I got home. She had 18 boys in a class of 25. The boys were wrestling during story time, and Ricardo was constantly talking...imagine that...Mrs. Graden said it was easier to be able to touch his shoulder than to say, "Ricardo, Ricardo, Ricardo...."
Since I don't live with you, and I'm not a fly on your wall, I can't judge your parenting. I will tell you that when I have seen you with your children, I have been very impressed by the way you truly delight in them and there is no question about how much you and CJ both love your children. I would just say be sure you are being consistent. If you tell Tanner "no" or "stop that", then make sure he does what you say. Little ones notice when you don't follow through and they will take advantage of it! (I have plenty of experience with that!) Also, if CJ reprimands Tanner and you disagree with CJ, you must present a united front to Tanner. (Same for CJ) Save your disagreement for behind closed doors. Then, when CJ is not home, you have to uphold what he has spoken, even if you disagree with him. Kids notice when parents publicly disagree about discipline and will capitalize on that!
Before you go see the teacher, breathe...Tanner is an awesome little boy who is being raised in a loving home. He might have made poor choices at school, and that's what they were (if he did), poor choices. That doesn't make him "bad." If he is indeed guilty of poor behavior, I would take away all electronics first...TV, DVD's, video games, etc..., but you are his mama, you know what will hurt the most.
The most important thing is to talk to Tanner about it. Make sure he is speaking the truth and don't let him get away with lying.
(We just went through this with Antonio. It's a long story, but the bottom line is I could tell he wasn't telling me the whole story, so I contacted his teacher and found out some things...maybe I should write that in an e-mail, coz this is getting long! In the end, I told Antonio it is always better to speak the truth even if you are going to get in trouble. Lying only brings more trouble. One funny comment that Antonio made was "I don't want daddy to know." I replied, "Sweetheart, your daddy already knows. Daddy and I are best friends. We tell each other everything, and we love you very much!")

To summarize:
1. Breathe
2. Thank God for the beautiful gifts he has given you through your 3 children.
3. Talk to CJ-plan your course of action with him.
4. Talk to Tanner with CJ, if possible.

Staci, there is a possibility that something is going on at school that you are not aware of. Maybe another kid is picking on Tanner. Trust your instincts. You know him better than the teacher and the aides. Pump Tanner for info without using leading questions. Listen carefully when you are talking to the teacher. You will get to the bottom of this!

And know that in Valparaiso, IN your favorite aunt is praying for you every step of the way!

Love and hugs to you and your sweet family!
your favorite aunt,
aunt esta

P.S. this is the space for writing a book, right?

Anonymous said...

Honestly, i wouldn't worry. go to the conference, listen, and adjust small things if you want. jonathan was the same way in kindergarten. it's the new enviroment, seeing how much he can get away with, and could even be the teacher. perhaps she isn't strict enough. and i don't to hear about nothing exciting going on!! i never get to talk to you or see you. it's allexciting to me. i love blog updates!!

Safety1 said...

We are still working with Sarah, and Erin gave us some fits too, Tanner is easy. He is a good kid. Sarah really pushes the bounds of realty... I would not get to worried about it yet, go and listen and be a acive parent (which you already are) and work with the teachers. Remember they have most likely seen this before and may have some good ideas. As long as this a just a quarterly report things most likely aren't that bad. This is the time when we shape the minds and attitudes of our children. Shaun get daily reports on Sarah. She cringes everytime the school calls..... You are doing things just right!

Safety1 said...

I don't know who your Aunt Esta is but she is a VERY SMART parent. Good thoughts to raise kids by!!! I couldn't say it better.